Friday, February 18, 2011

How did He do it...??

Can someone please explain to me why it is that the people of this world that you love and take care of the most are the ones who hurt you the most? I don't understand that. This last week I have taken care of a sick roommate while exposing myself to her germs and buying her the entire pharmacy of CVS, I woke up in the middle of the night at 4:15 in the morning when I had to work at 7:00am to drive to my friends house to pray with her because she woke up with bad nightmares and has been very unrested, I paid for my other friends education so that she wouldn't be dropped from classes all while trying to figure out how I'm going to pay for mine, my dog (who was my best friend) died last week and I have my roommates telling me to get over it, I say something nice and out of love to a friend to cheer her and she responds with "hahaha you're so cheesy". These are just a few minor examples of why I feel slightly trampled on by the ones I sacrifice everything for (time, sleep, money, and most importantly... my heart). I am the only one who cleans my apartment and when there are dishes in the sink and I have no time, I get to listen to the complaints of how messy our house is. I silently put up with the comments, complaints, and the lack of "thank yous" that I do NOT hear, let alone the "I love yous" I never hear either. Is it really THAT hard to appreciate and love one another? I am not claiming I am anywhere near mastering the law of love but I do try with everything in me to follow the One who is. And when I look over at these same people who encourage my loneliness, sitting next to me at church on Sunday I can't help but wonder why in the world I continue to walk the path of zero reciprocation. I don't want to be paid back, I don't need someone to listen to my bad day, I don't need someone to wake from their slumber at 4:15am, I don't need anyone to help me clean the house. But what I do need is for someone to say "thank you". I want someone to tell me that they appreciate me for putting THEM, FIRST. I want them to say they love me, knowing it isn't enough. So, all my complaining aside I realized that I can endure this, it hurts, I don't understand why the people you call your friends and family have to be the ones to use you for what you have to offer. I don't know why they always have to take a mile when I give an inch. It makes no sense how their hearts and souls can feel satisfied by treating someone they love this way. But more so than all this... what hurts me the most is that at the end of the day, even when they stepped on me and milked me for the resources I offer, I still love them more than they love me. I don't want to. I tell myself that I won't keep putting my hand out to help them then I find myself putting out both hands, but then I don't have a hand for myself, and no one is offering theirs to me, so... I do it to myself. I'm fully aware this is the case. But I can't stop. And really it’s just kind of a beautiful thing in a way because I reach out to Jesus for the strength to endure the hurt from giving and not getting. He definitely is my refuge without a doubt. And I guess really why I hurt isn't even for myself at all, it’s for Him. How did He do it? How is it that someone has so much love repeatedly for everyone, no matter what, when all they/we ever do is condemn Him, trample on Him, hurt Him, disrespect Him, and turn our back on Him and yet when we want Him or need Him, He's right there waiting with open arms. My brain honestly cannot conceptualize that kind of love, it’s impossible for me to understand that. That's really why my heart aches... it’s because in the pain I feel from the outside earthly people I can only think of Him and how He prevailed against the world who turned their back on Him. I only have to deal with this with the people I'm surrounded by. He has to endure that pain from EVERY SINGLE PERSON in this whole huge world. I wish I could take that pain from Him. It hurts me we do it to the person who deserves it the least. And it’s in that, that I know I can do it. I can certainly get thru it with roommates and sisters and classmates. But still, my question remains unanswered... and I really am curious about that answer. Why is it the people who are supposed to love and care for us most, hurt us the most? The ones we truly sacrifice for? Why is it so hard to say "thank you" and "I love you?" Last time I checked it doesn't take time, money, or even much effort to let someone know you love them. And that they're special. And that you're happy they are here with you. It's not hard. If Jesus can do it for the world, we can certainly do it for each other.


  1. great post lindsey thank you for your honesty. God calls us to be servants.
    mark 9:35 "And sitting down, He called the twelve and said to them, 'If anyone wants to be first, he shall be last of all, and servant of all.'"

    humans will always let us down, always. yes, occasionally we do get the credit we deserve, but that seems to be rare. that's why it's so important for us to be only seeking approval and praise from God.
    galatians 1:10 "Obviously, I am not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, i would not be Christ's servant."

    Our God washed the disciples feet... how crazy is that!? God! Washed feet!
    mark 10:45 "For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, to give His life as a ransom for many."

    everytime you wake up at 4:15 to pray with a friend, or take care of a sick friend, or speak "cheesy" words of encouragement because you truly care about someone; you are pleasing God. You are making our Savior smile by your selfless deeds, by following the example He set for us. You are directly serving Him!
    matthew 25:40 "And the King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me."

    so i encourage you Lindsey to only seek to glorify and please the Lord. get all your satisfaction in knowing that by selflessly serving others, you are actually serving Jesus! and great is your reward :) although you can't see it yet, it's there, and you will recieve it.
    hebrews 6:10 "For God is not unjust. He will not forget how hard you have worked for Him and how you have shown your love to Him by caring for other believers, as you still do."

    Keep it up Lindsey :)

  2. You are amazing. I don't even know if I could do what you do. You have a love for other people that is unconditional and most people would never be able to do. You have shown me true love and I wanted to let you know that I strive to be like you every day. I'm saying THANK YOU from them to you. You are the best friend that anyone could ask for and they don't even know it.

  3. Here is my hand. Thank you for everything that you are. Thank you for serving the people around you and loving them unconditionally. You are being Jesus hands and feet and He will be the one thanking you for taking care of His kids. When that day comes you will not even be able to remember these moments. But, I don't say these things to discount anything that you are going through because feeling unappreciated, unloved, uncared for, alone, are the worst feelings that I have endured. I am sorry that you are going through this. I wish that I could invite you to live with my roommates & I, but I can offer to be there whenever you are in need or simply want someone around. Can we please be friends and care for eachother? Your heart is beautiful and so incredibly rare. Take heart, dear one, for by serving others we are serving HIM.

  4. lindsay, can I just say that it is refreshing to hear someone with a really big heart... because I know I have a HUGE heart that hurts just as deeply as it loves. it kinda sucks sometimes to be honest. you can't control it. you love people just because they are people. you would do anything for them whenever you can. I know this feeling. I know this urge. You just do it because it is right. and loving. and because that's what Jesus would do. Lindsay, this is the heart He created in you. I JUST realized that concept last night at like 2am when I couldn't sleep from a migraine (which I have because I have people refusing to let me love them which seriously kills me everyday). God created you with that heart that yearns and cares so deeply, that heart that LOVES so deeply as you throw caution to the wind. Thanks, Lindsay, for loving people the way HE created you to love them. You know that song, "break my heart for what breaks Yours..."? yeah, well sometimes I don't sing that line because if my heart broke anymore than it already does for what breaks the heart of Jesus, idk if my heartt would just physically break in my chest. Maybe this is the same for you. God made your heart, don't forget. :) and I second corinne... we should be friends. I don't have fb or anything but I have to have a blog, so use it. :)

  5. Lindsay, thank you for your actions and your words. I recently have been thinking about the times when I sinned against God and failed to see the severity of it. What I mean to say is that I was not sensitive of the Father's heart and how he feels when I trample on it.

    Your post almost felt like God was speaking to me about how he feels when I sin against him. Sometimes I forget that Jesus, too, wept and endured it all. I want to be more sensitive of his presence and follow after his heart. Thanks again for your post.

  6. Wow Lindsey thank you for sharing. Your heart is so full of love and I know that God is pleased with you. As I was reading your post I couldn't help but reflect on my own life and how so many times I forget to say thank you and I love you to the people I care the most for. Your blog really opened my eyes to the fact that it's not that I don't appreciate what others do, it's that I tend to forget the importance of showing people I care for them. I totally agree with you when you were talking about how we hurt God the most. I want to learn to live and be a beloved daughter of His that loves with no measures and ulimately loves Him first!

  7. This is a great reminder for all of us to remember to love and appreciate those in our lives. Thank you for sharing. The hardest thing about loving each other here on earth is that sometimes that love is not appreciated, or given back in return. We as humans do not know how to love the way that God matter how hard we try. This is why we cannot put our hope and satisfaction in our relationships here. But thank God that no matter how much we fail...he is the one who's love is perfect and the ONLY one that we can truly rely on!!

  8. Wow you have a really big heart, what a blessing. This post is a great reminder to tell the people around me I love them and appreciate what they do for. thank you

  9. I'm with David. I was so very convicted while reading this, like the eyes of God were looking back at me through the glow of the screen.

    How DID He do it?

    As others have said...thank you. Thank you that even in the short time that I've known you I've experienced you extending your kindness and your heart to me and my family. You're awesome, and this post is awesome.

  10. This is my favorite post of yours so far...

    In order to love others in a big way, you have to risk being hurt in a big way. I'm so proud of you for loving others the way you do, sharing your heart with those who don't always understand, and being open and honest when you feel cheated.

    Don't let the foolishness of others discourage you from being who you are cause who you are is really cool.

  11. The encouragement you guys have given makes me have happy tears! You guys are awesome! Throughout the week when faced with painful moments of feeling lonely and unappreciated, I went straight to these comments for confirmation to continue to let me heart be big and to break for others and to keep giving. I can't thank you all enough, the answers to this blog has seriously been what's made me get by. You all are such a gift! <3

  12. Thank you for loving and giving and doing.
    Thank you for choosing these things even when it is
    Thankless and unprofitable--- for it truly is love. Thanks for
    Being who you are. Hugs to you!

  13. lindsay, thank you so much for sharing this. i think we often subconsciously enter into acts of love for other people with expectations. you expressed that you don't need them to reciprocate in the sense that they return your efforts exactly, but i think we all become entitled to hearing thank you or receiving another's gratitude. entitlement certainly isn't something we're called to in Christ. it can be such a frustrating thing to remember, and discouraging too. i'm grateful that you're able to see Christ's love in more light through this.